Self-work is some of the most gut-wrenching and POWERFUL work you can do. Self-work creates self-worth, and self-worth brings self-wealth. Self-work helps you uncover what you truly desire and what is holding you back from being yourself. Self-wealth is found when living in your truth.
It was time for me to be totally honest with myself.
After revealing the mistakes I had made while climbing the corporate ladder to 10 other people, the shame and guilt began to surface again. In the past, I would have dismissed those and told myself to “Forget it.” And, just like that, those feelings would be pushed back down to grapple with later.
Remember that pouch? The one that said, “Keep It Together!”? Well, the thing I realized is that I no longer had to. To truly leave that behind, I had to “Forgive it.” Forgive myself. This time I began to work through the discomfort. I had often forgiven others, but never realized the freedom of forgiving myself. It was time to do just that.
Pen, paper, and four steps:
1. Acknowledge my mistake and the pain it caused.
2. Notice and reflect on what caused the incident(s).
3. What lessons did I learn, and what would I do differently in the future?
4. Forgive myself.
My letter of forgiveness began with, “I forgive you, corporate Nancy…” Then, I wrote down what surfaced when reflecting on the first 3 steps and closed the letter with, “I forgive myself.”
With my letter in hand, I joined the rest of my hiking group. The sun had set, and we sat along the banks of the Colorado River. It was a chance to release and let go. It was here when I realized another powerful lesson. The best form of forgiveness is in the words you speak. I read my letter aloud, ripped it up and let the wind carry it away as I listened to the flow of water.
The canyon truly is magical, as is the forgiveness process. Both reveal the beauty of what’s inside. In the canyon you become one with the rock, the sand, and the air. In forgiveness you become one with your heart, soul, and mind. Mistakes aren’t made from your heart, they come from your “life sensors” that want to protect you. When we react to these life sensors, we forget who we truly are and the power of our heart.
It had been a draining day emotionally and I knew tomorrow would be physically tough as we hiked out of the canyon. It took no time at all to sink into the warmth of the bunk and fall into a peaceful sleep.
Watch for my next and final blog – taking the canyon home with me!