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Put Up Your Dukes!


Have you ever noticed how much of your life is spent deflecting and defending? It's human nature to raise our emotional fists and put up our dukes! It's a simple coping mechanism we've learned in order to avoid negative consequences or feeling less than others. We've gotten so good at it that we even protect ourselves from a basic human need - to feel seen, heard, understood, valued, and recognized. In fact, we crave appreciation and recognition, so why do we fight it?


I call this Recognition Recoil. You know it, you've done it. Someone gives you a compliment and you say "Oh, it's no big deal," and wave it off. You quickly tuck it down, noting "Anyone would have done the same." You turn and carry on.


A big a-ha moment for my clients often starts with a statement like, "I don't really need recognition, but it would be nice once in a while." Of course it would be! That, in itself, is recognition worth noting. So what's the hang up? Why do we avoid it? Instead of putting up your dukes, try letting your guard down. The next time you are given a compliment or acknowledged for that project you spent so much time on - RECEIVE. Listen to what is being said, acknowledge it, and enjoy it. Have a conversation with the person giving it to you. When we receive recognition, we’re also giving a gift to the person that gives it to us. The gift of being heard!


Recognition. We all want it, need it, and deserve it. Let's face it, we're not always good at giving recognition either. In a world full of busy, busy, busy, we can easily feel unheard, undervalued, or unappreciated. Try dishing out a little more recognition and see what flows back to you.


Still feel like you aren't getting the recognition you deserve? Then ASK! It's common to hear blanket statements such as "good job" or "great day." It's ok to inquire about the activities or behaviors you demonstrated to make it good or great. You might also decide to ask for appreciation in ways that work best for you too. For example, if you prefer to be recognized in private versus in front of a group, it’s ok to ask for that.


Recognition matters, so don't fight it! Be seen, heard, and understood with a free clarity consultation with Nancy. Select your time here:

I See YOU - clarity session